Feels like it has been a while since I called home. Or message my mom and dad. I dont know why. I just dont feel like to, and I cant really explain why I abstain myself from contacting them. Few times already - I pick up my phone and dial the numbers, but hang up before the first ring. Or take out my mobile, type messages but delete them before I press the 'send' button. My parents have been messaging me, I do like reading the messages, but I just cant find myself from replying to any. I know, it has been an abrupt change.

I have also stopped emailing my brother altogether. Again, dont ask me why. I just dont. Regardless that I am online everyday these days - I just never make the attempt to contact him. Or chat with my other brother. Its almost like I am hiding from them altogether and just 'appear offline' in my MSN. I am sorry.

I am sorry. I am really sorry.
But I guess it is better this way.