Its hard to look at someone who disappoints you. Its hard to look at someone you know you have disappointed. It is even harder when that person is you yourself.

I know the year wont be a cruising year. Heck, it is only half a year gone by now. But what have I learnt so far? Nothing, or at least thats what it feels like, studywise - if today's exam paper is of any indication.

You know all those times I spent locked up in my room, studying? That doesnt matter. All those sleepless nights spent reading, writing and trying to understand the concepts. That doesnt matter either. All those tears fell in moments of desperation. That also doesnt matter, because things will not change.

No matter how much I have done, or I thought I have done, somehow, that's not enough. Facing with the possibility of failing the exam, big time - urgh. That's an ugly feeling. Especially when I thought of my supposedly 'preparations' weeks (2 months?) of revising.

I guess I wont feel half as bad if I know I have fooled around this semester. But the thing is, I didnt. And the outcome? =.= I have tried, really I have tried. I have tried my best, and now, I realize that, my best is just not good enough. I am disappointed. More on myself. I am annoyed at myself. I feel like I am such a failure. Big time.

Anyhow, you wont be seeing much of this girl in the few days to come... Will be very busy detoxifying my body from the caffeine (I hope I wont get withdrawal symptoms. harharhar), pay off my slept debt and get rid of this raccoon eyes, eat 'real' food (hopefully) and generally wallow in self pity and misery. (huhu. A fun-filled weekends. =.=)