I had a shift with a nurse yesterday, which was totally great. The nurse I was attached to, Kate, was a friendly smiling woman who could put anybody at ease. At the very least, my day yesterday gave myself a glimpse of how noble the job of a nurse really is.

When I first arrived at the ward, I was full of apprehension. Thoughts impended my mind in each stride; oh what was I supposed to say to these patients? what would be expected of me, a not-knowing medical student? what was I supposed to do with my minimal clinical skills?
But I marched in anyway, and with a nervous smile pasted on my face, introduced myself to Kate that I would be her tail for her entire shift that day *gasp* (... and hopefully, less of a pain in the ass).

She then brought me to an old lady, propped up in a bed. A smiling old lady. Introduced my name to her, which she delightedly exclaimed that I have similar name as her daughter, Lisa. Oh this woman was sweet, really sweet, full of humour and if one was to look closely in her eyes, one could definitely glimpse the mischievous twinkle dancing in her eyes. She was full of stories to tell. And when I was helping her with her shower that morning, she just had plenty of ideas and laughs. =)
After I was done, I flicked through a couple of files in the office. Read through the chirpy woman's medical notes. Right at that moment, Kate told me that the woman was going to be transferred soon to a palliative care; her doctors had estimated that she would not last very long..



I stared at Kate, disturbed. "But she is happy!" - an unrecognized voice squeaked from me, indignant. Kate only stared, and quietly told me to have my lunchbreak. I walked myself to Hagley Park, watched a couple of kids playing ball in the field; full of energy, full of enthusiasm, full of happiness.

When I came back to the ward, I saw the woman again while helping Kate dispensing meds - somehow in my eyes, she didnt look anymore optimistic. "oh you are scared of me, arent you dearie?" I looked past her smiling eyes, and stared at the white wall beside her right ear. "No.. am not. I.. wasnt." I forced myself to smile at the wall.. and slowly inched away.

I didnt understand myself; on why she, a stranger whom Ive only met, could perturb me unlike 3 other patients I saw that day (who are all under Kate's care)..
- Mr M was a man full of himself, who excitedly told me of an association he founded in Canterbury, of which he urged me to join. I questioned how in pain this excited man was as he gulped down his meds.
- Mr A was a man who seemed older than he really was; no doubt the effect of his condition. Of all patients I saw that day, he was the one who was least coping with his pain. He scared me a little seeing him like that, and wondered just how much could doctors do for him.
- Mr X was an elderly man, who reminded me of my late grandpa. Mr X was so eager to please, constantly trying to impress his carers just how independent he could be. I held his arm and walked him slowly to the toilet. You know, I would have thought that I would flinch at the idea of cleaning after someone else. But I didnt. And just before I left, he asked me what my name is "because I wanted to remember you and Kate."

The ward was fairly busy.. with Mr A under our close supervision at all times, regarding his pain. I had enjoyed myself, and (maybe) made myself useful at the ward, regardless that I didnt have a chance to practice my stethoscope on anyone. But it is ok.. I believe there is a time for that, because one day when I came back to a ward again, I might be too busy pursuing my education to actually do one of the essential humane things to do, which is to talk. and to listen to their stories. =)

Kate allowed me to leave a tad earlier that day. She thanked me, and said that I could be a wonderful health professional one day. Amiin. I felt warmth all over. One day, I really want to help ease a person's pain. One day, I really want to be able to help a person cope well. One day, I really want to make someone smile, despite the condition he's in.
"m sorry that you didnt learn much today." No. On the contrary to what Kate seemed to think, I learnt a lot yesterday. On my way out, I glanced at Mr. M's bed. He was sitting upright, staring at the window. He was glowing under the streaming sunshine.
I walked home feeling awesome. =)