It was one cold frosty morning when Idecided to give in to the temptation. Flicked my ringing mobile phone alarm off and squeezed my eyes tight. I remember thinking in my mind that I didnt want to wake up and face another day of mundane tasks at the birthing suite. Sleeping was blissful and I woke up at half past nine, wayyy past the time that I was supposed to report to the suite for my oncall duty.. which in the end, I didn’t turn up for.

These days, I actually have to muster up my motivation to turn up at the hospital. Now I understand how difficult it is to try to be interested in something when you are not. I don’t like my current attachment (obs gynae), I am still fidgeting around looking for that sliver of interest within me, that perky excitement, that fluid concentration. the only thing that i don’t mind waking up early for is when I have a theatre list – but even those became irritatingly repeatitive as the weeks pass by. Argh! Lets just say that, having a woman spreading her legs wide apart right before me – is just not my cup of tea. Have me splashed with bloods, ask me to inspect a wound infection, tell me to scrub in any operating procedures – I can handle. but I am squeamish when it comes to inspecting a woman’s genitalia as she lie right in front of me, spreading her legs apart, waiting for me to take her cervical smear as I prod around her abdomen, buying myself some more time. Argh!

Sorry ladies.. I don’t think I can see a gynaecologist or an obstetrician in me.