ive been meaning to blog about this a long, long time ago but work and daily mundane tasks keep on pressing for my time, pulling my attention away until the whole thing just slipped off my mind. ive been seeking for the answer of this one notion that kept on playing and replaying on my mind early this year, "how do you reach out for someone who doesnt hold her hands out to you?", only to no avail. ive given up trying to reach out and just play busy with my own life until today..

i remembered that late friday afternoon as i emptied the contents of my 5 weeks' worth of stash from my locker into my beg. the room was empty and silent, only occassionally pierced by the sounds of me cleaning my locker and slamming my lockerdoor shut. it was only when i reached for my jacket that i heard quiet sniffles. i knew i could have turned and walked away, but i couldnt - not after glimpsing just how crushed she looked. managed a few comforting babbles that only fell on deaf ears, as she kept on sobbing and sobbing unrelentlessly - before finally telling me to just leave.

that was early in the year. ive never really talked to her about what had happened - even though i knew, from her frequent missing classes and everything else, she didnt seem to be coping well. what i thought to be an isolated crying incident actually have multiple recurrences throughout the year..

admittedly, we have our own break down moments; those moments that we feel like we just couldnt cope. those intense times when workload just piling up and became too demanding. those stressful, tearful times when bottling up inside really wouldnt work.



so, again, "how do you reach out for someone who doesnt hold her hands out to you?"

the answer is, you cant. you cant make unwilling someone to open up to you.

she remains as a face that i see around a lot and occassionally, sits beside me. but really, i dont know know her. in the end, i can only wish her well.