ive said it before and il say it again. we are not living in a playground, and i am not a doll that you can pick up and abscond just at anytime you like. you throw me away and then pick me up eons later - but i am not a ball that bounce back to you like a schoolboy playing basketball. i bruise, i hurt, i confuse. one moment we are chess pieces, you made your move, you conquer my queen before i could yell out 'check mate !'. the next moment, i found myself sitting amongst the ten pins just as a swift ball knock me over. my heart pingpongs from one end to another; from yearning to uncaring, from wanting to unwanted, from excitement to resentment. but just as the whistle blows halftime, i am back to the status quo, confused.