Medical school is really so mean. -___-" Been anxiously waiting for the midyear result to come out every second of the day ever since that fateful 1st of June - and now its already approaching July for goodness sake, and the much anticipated result has not emerged yet. Never a day in that period of time that I did not think about the exam, yearning to know and at the same time afraid and very much distress at times with increasing anxiety level day by day. Sigh. Just. Let. Me. Know. Already.

Not knowing, is not bliss. Just stripped off that b*llsh*t that people say that if you dont know about something, its good. No, it is not. On the other hand, the apprehension is so suffocating, that I would rather know. Now. Rather than waking up and living each day with apprehensive thoughts, jittery and with impending sense of doom. That kills off my holiday mood, entirely.
Yes, I know ... knowing that (if) I fail the exam will most definitely kill off my holiday mood too, but at least, if I know the truth now, I could better cope, down my misery and spend the remaining days of the so-called holidays buried under my books and notes..

But, no, medical school is still vigilant on having me on the edge...

*jitters*

Oh and since I am in the mood of shedding light on how malicious medical school has been on this poor little soul (i.e. ME)... do you know what else the school sneakily has done? ... Well, at least I could almost proudly say, that I have survived the ordeal of being tucked away in rural, secluded area with strangers. *horror*
Yes, you know what rural means right? Yes, this small town ... village(?) .. hey, I could even call it backwoods. Really. The first day I arrived, I decided to be brave and venture out in the woods, I meant, the town. And I didnt even need a map for that, not because I have superb bearings or anything, but because I just dont need one. Oh Boy! -____-"

And the rest of the days. Tried to get to know the other unfortunate souls that have the same miserable fate being sent there as I was too. They were my classmates (how could I missed their faces among the 240 others, huh? Yeah, I dont know .. unless of course its The Guy *cough*cough*). Anyway, yeah... They were not that bad, at least they amazed me by their hepatic sustainability power by guzzling bottles after bottles of beer in a matter of just a couple of hours. Booyaah!! And still remained sober. O.o With addition of creatively, interesting, yet, crazy ideas such as skinny dipping on thursday night at the lake - not my idea of great fun, but I was just there for a laugh. (Even though as I reflect back, there is nothing funny about getting self-induced hypothermia. -__-")

And then came friday. I was so ecstatic to leave. Unfortunately, the day wasnt so awesome. Was snowing heavily, and I prayed to God on the way back to have me (and everyone else) back safely to civilization. The road was slippery, most areas covered by snow. By the time we arrived at the foot of the mountain, many cars just turned back. The bus driver didnt seem as confident anymore. I was sick with fear, remained agitated in my seat. At the very least, I was glad that John was with me, talking to me and calming me a bit. But when we made our way through the meandering roads up in the mountain, he looked at me - and I could not forget that look, he was just as terrified too. And I just sniffed.

And the journey that should take only a couple of hours (5 hours) took a grand total of 8 hours. The bus had to take many stops, change the chains every so often, and then trudged very very slowly. We stopped at Arthur's Pas for 10 minutes, I walked out, my shoes were wet, even my jeans - up to below my knees. I looked in disdain at the cold, blanket of snow - they were no longer magical winter wonderland but malicious bleak surroundings, stripped off from its beautiful nature colours. Ugh.. At that moment, I just wanted to get back to my own room, tucked in my own bed, spoilt with colourful cushions and stuffed animals that I have.

And then somehow, we made it. Safely. To christchurch. I was soooo happy. In fact, I was beyond happy. I was so merry, I just felt like jumping up and down. I felt so alive. So thankful to be alive. And after I arrived back at the motel, I think I drove both Diyana and Nisa nuts by saying just how wonderful it was to be back in Christchurch, over and over again. Really. The journey back scared me, a lot.

Anyway, overall, the ECC wasn't a complete failure. Heh. Learnt many great lessons. True the acquaintances that I have made during the week may not last long ... unless, perhaps, with John. But it was great knowing them anyway. We have had our own differences, and it is great feeling to be accepted, sometimes. To respect, and to be respected. And to learn to work as a team - even though thats a struggle.
And one thing I learn and surprise me is that, no matter how beautiful the scenery is or just how calming and peaceful the countrylife is, I was actually longing for the hustle bustle of a city. No matter how spoilt the accommodation that I stayed in (Yes, I had sky TV, internet connection as well as a SPA bath in my motel) - that still doesnt make up my yearning for .... more modernization. For skycrapers, or just ... more building. More shopping areas. More people. Busy walkways. I want the city. Unfortunately, I could not envision myself to work happily, stuck in some remote area. I sound soooo annoyingly superficial airhead, I know. ah. Whatever lah. uhu..
and oh yeah, last word: Korean guys are soooo charming. And I am not just talking about movies. ;)