this is the second time i write about you. you dont know this. you might not even realize the existence of this blog in the midst of all the links ive given you. and even if you have by some weird wildcard of fate have actually opened this site before, you might not even realize that these are my utterances. my thoughts. how ironic, considering how lately i blog right across from your seating.

you aint stranger to me. hell, no no no. and despite our differences and our petty disputes at times, i love you. there are no replacement for that. for .. for the person i looked up to, the person i respected so much, the person who i could count on. you were strong. you were stubborn. you were different. from the person i saw.

those tears. those big fat tears raining down your cheeks.. that almost never happened before. i was shaking with fury. rage. oh i was bitter, that i could almost taste myself. for seeing you like this. =.= my head was swimming for weeks with all the pent-up emotions and convictions. you didnt know this, but i dropped everything else, everything else that was planned, whenever you said you wanted to chill and hang out. whenever you needed me.

but today m here. m at the garden city. far away from you. left Brunei yesterday with a heavier heart than usual. i stared into your eyes, trying to judge your emotion that morning, trying to reassure you that one day, your world will full of dancing butterflies and smiling sun again. that one day, you would be transported back to a happier world, full of sweet honey and scented roses, and you would regain your wings back, gliding in the air.

i could only paint a happier world in your mind. wishing that it would come to a reality soon. i only want to become your guardian angel, supporting and protecting you from the harms, the devastation. like how you protected me from bruises when i fell before. and now, its my turn. i might be younger, but i dont have any other sisters in the world, and seeing you like this, that broke my heart too.
Ka, I love you. May everything comes to a happier ending soon. and am always here. <3