sometimes when you are looking for something, you get more than what you are looking for. shit.

the moment you told me about it, i stared at you long enough, trying to force you back to choke on your words, to swallow everything that you had just uttered. i looked at you for signs of you were joking, a naughty twinkle, a creeping smile at the corner of your mouth, anything.. anything that could signify you were only pulling my leg.

but you didnt.

i saw you heaving. i saw you trying to choke back your tears. i saw your crumpled face. i saw your distant stare. i saw you. i saw you like a stranger. i saw you different.

shook my head a couple of times. trying to shake the image. trying to shake what you have just told me. trying to shake everything that was painted on my mind. trying to shake the reality. shit.

I was angry. for few days i was angry. maybe m still angry now. for weeks and days, i was mad. i wanted to rant madly, i raked my brain of all the nasty vociferations, the perfect words that could tell that i was REALLY angry. but nothing came up.. shit.

now, all is left is i felt disappointed. annoyed. mad. i dont know.. i felt empty. but maybe not as empty as you. =.= i saw you. you werent like this before.

i wanted to be your guardian angel everyday. but i couldnt. m sorry. but i will look out for you. one day i will give you wings, so that you could fly. one day, i will see stars in your eyes again. because i know, you werent like this before.