Today, I was riding on a boat. Gripping on the edge of the boat as it waded through the sea of emotions, shoved from side to side as the boat rocked under the strong current of waves..

Woke up this morning like any other days. Opened my drawer and saw that stupid little paper. No, thats not right isnt it? Its not stupid, for I was the one who tear that little piece of paper off a book that morning before I left for the airport, and quickly scrawled the numbers and that name, before slipping it into my jeans pocket. I dont know how I forgot about it. But apparently, that momentary slip of mind is not enough to erase these turmoil of emotions.

Ugh. I was pissed off. Majorly angry. That sight had actually managed to make me feel all shitty inside. I wanted to vent out all the frustrations, annoyance and the hell I felt inside, and God sent a friend online right at that moment. Maybe I was too fed up, maybe Ive had enough of these feelings, maybe I just wanted to talk to someone I trusted, and before long, I was telling her everything. Well.. almost everything anyway.. that bothered me since summer.
[thank you friend. you know who you are. and like you said, this should work out. I really do hope so. Because this drama is not as much fun when you are in it, seeing how it affects the person(s) that you care a lot. And this is just ironic, on how we always talk of these things, happening on the net and newspaper and everywhere else, and now, I knew these things really DO happen. ugh]
At that, I could only sobbed. She was strong. She is. I just hope she will. I actually feel like being back in Brunei, just to make sure that she really is..

Then, right before the witching hour, I was nudged to the other side of the boat again. Now, am being hopeful. She said shes managing alright. And things are progressing, even though they seemed to be at a snail's crawling speed. But she's there, already perched on the ledge, flapping her wings, getting ready for a mighty take off. And like a smart bird, she plans. And she plans it well.
Oh m so proud of you my dear sister.

Tomorrow is a big day for you, wish you well on that. Amiin. Pray to Allah that everything will run smoothly. Amiin. Knowing how you are, m feeling better. Much better. ^.^ ... n I still have that fone number, that might come in handy one day.. but today, m not up for a confrontation.. yet.. The sea looks calmer tonight.