"so you are happy here?"



I looked up at his curiosity-filled eyes and kind smile and nodded vigorously. Without hesitation, I launched into a purple spiel - recounting how great the weather is (even though it hasnt been so the last couple of days as my hanging damp clothes is a testimony of that) and how readily obtainable halal chickens are and how awesome the bus system is and everything else about the city.

He looked at me expectantly and sensing that I wasnt divulging anything more personal other than my own 5 minutes speech of selling out the city, he asked directly how my life had been going. I took a deep breath and shifted my attention to the view outside the window, overlooking the expanse of the city from the 7th floor. "I love the city," I spoke to the air.



When I finally made my eye contact with him, I flashed him with what I thought of as a convincing confident smile and immersed himself with what seemed to be memorised lines of a script of a fairytale story - girl lives in a different city, girl starting all over again and finding her footsteps, girl finding and making new friends, girl finding and doing new things, girl lives happily ever after. When I had finished running on loquacity mode, I saw him smiling satisfactorily. I was amazed at my own articulation too. I almost fooled myself with the fairytale that my mind had just cooked up.

After my chirpy meeting with Dr W, I went outside and caught up with J. Chatted with him about the school promotion video the guys were making for prospective students coming to Christchurch. Talked about our ice-skating and dinner plans. M looking forward to that, hopefully most people would turn up. In between coffee sips and a blackforest cake slice this morning, I volunteered to organise another group outing this coming long weekend. Heh. Amidst the mounting piles of works to do, I couldnt resist cutting myself some more slacks and fork a piece of procrastination cake. They tasted sweet.



As I sat and digested the heavenly delicious procrastinating devil, it dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, what I had been telling Dr W earlier on wasnt full of blatant lies at all. All these while, I had been adamant to live my life like those in pages of fairytale books - full of soft colours with each charater bearing sunshiny smiles and having sweet-looking brownies. I had wanted my own morning store-bought brownie to be as cheerful as a gingerbreadman, that I have a loving prince in shining knight armour riding a white horse (never mind the fact how stupid looking the heavy armour would be on a person riding a horse) and that I have a honest bright smile permanently painted on my face.

I had wanted a fairytale life and lived happily ever after. I had wanted it so much that I had forgotten how sweet real life could be with no werewolves lurking in the dark at nighttimes.