Everything is a blur. One big hazy blur when days just passed by, clocks ticking and pages of that chinese square calendar are torn off. I have probably expelled my billionth sigh tonight. My desk table is full of scrap papers and those little cadbury favourites' chocolates wrappers. I count them - dreamy, moro, crunchie and dairymilk. Damn. Lastnight I had a packet of cadbury's chocettes - and the sight of one particular squashed chocette on the floor is making me feel a tad terrible. How is it that the cold days make you feel less energectic these days despite the amount of calories you put away on the plate?

My holiday feels like one grey overlapping shadows at the back of my mind. The memory of it feels so distant, like scenes taken from a lifetime ago. If it was from a movie, I knew that they would come in black and white colours just like those old pramlee movies. I barely recalled setting off on a jetplane with Nisa to Wellington, I barely recalled seeing majestic lion, I barely recalled sitting on the floor in Diyana's room which both felt familiar and unfamiliar at the same time, I barely recalled spending endless hours at the mall, flicking pages of glossy magazines at borders. I barely recalled everything else that happened in-betweens.

So many years have gone by, but nothing about this old familiar friend has changed; even though I thought I would have outgrown certain things. Certain things like claiming my shots of devilishly delicious procrastination dose. No matter how ambitious I seem to be at the beginning, lack of motivation and a wide variation of distractions ensure that this girl, still does her work at the very last minute. =.= Even as I try writing down the first sentence for my assignment, I crave for msn blinks and email messages and new yahoo headlines and knocks on my door to distract me and sweep me away from my work - just like how a child would look longingly at a dripping ice cream cone on a scorched day, calculating moments to get his first bite.

le sigh.