I was spilling over with excitement tonight when I opened my msn and my cousin Lin said we should do a videocall. It was such a welcome reprieve after such a long day at the hospital that I excitedly push the button and made funny ugly faces to the webcam. It has been a while since I saw her and her mom (Moing). Halfway through the conversation, I saw my other aunt Makmah in her simple dress and tudong. I saw the familiar green wall in the background. I saw a familiar bottle of chilli maggi at the side. I saw familiar tell-tale signs of home. When the conversation ended, I was left staring at my msn list, wishing that the pens that were strewn across my table would speak to me, hoping that my stethoscope lying on the floor would flung itself around my neck and somehow transform into giving me some sort of a hug. I felt quite alone, I wanted to seek and kick that bundle of joy that seemed to abandon me tonight.

Sigh. This is it. I think I can carry on better without much feeling homesick when I am constantly away and too busy to make any contact. Because once I do, this irrational yearning just seemed to invade me unrelentingly. -___-" Pah! Liza, stop this.. I have some patients' cases to write up on - I dont need self-pitying and stupid homesickness to muddle up my thoughts. Boo.