There is this boiling kernel of resentment spiced up with irritation at the pit of my stomach. Argh. I really wish that I am the type of person who can evaporate her vindictiveness just by screaming like mad and hurling items and chairs right through the window. Sadly, I am not. My hatred tend to just bubble in a cauldron of heated annoyance which very often than not, spitting verbal diarrhoea on the blank pages of pathetic diary.

Ah. This should be the last post I make on this particular ranty angsty series. I am getting really tired. And the more I dwell upon this, the angrier I get. I really wish that I could just type out the specifics and every single detail that gets me work up so much this year, or pedantically speaking, since last year. I really wish I could tell the story from A to Z. I really wish that I could be a clear narrator rather than typing out angsty outbursts from time to time. But the more I thought about it, the more I know I shouldnt.. this blogging thing is getting too transparent eh?

I know oh too well that it is only humane to make mistakes. But repeated mistakes done over too great amount of time, you really do wonder about one's conscience, dont you? And sadly enough, conscience doesnt reflect imaan. Or rather, conscience doesnt reflect the portrayed imaan. Seriously? I find it very repulsing when the cowardly evil tried to mask behind an innocent looking, seemingly pious upfront. Thats just too sick. Why the facade, why the hypocrisy, why the accumulating lies? Ah. So repugnant. It is not humane to repeatedly deliberately make 'mistakes' and conjuring up excuses for the doings. And it is especially VERY repugnantly NON-HUMANE to try to portray yourself as the nicest person on earth, when the converse is true. Heh. A life lesson: a snake should not try to dress up like a purr-ing cat.

Currently, I am just amazed at the extent of how far someone could go to protect someone else who is blatantly clear on the wrong. It is soooo blatantly clear that no matter whatever irrational craps one tries to come up with, all the evidence point out that one is definitely threading on the wrong side. Sickening.. especially when all the bare facts are laid before one's eyes. Hrmmph. Another life lesson that seems to be forgotten in this story is: Humans dont make the fundamental laws.

And. Pretending things dont happen are just stupid ignorance. Or ignorantly stupid. (Pick your choice). So there you go.. I've rolled my dice.. This time around, I am not waiting for your next moves. I am king. A stubborn one at that. But I rule.