I felt stupid as I walked away from the ward. This incremental increase of stupidity as my steps hasten. Disheartened - what did I actually learn the past couple of weeks? Why am I such a slow learner? Why couldnt I remember everything? What's the use of me slaving myself away in front of my notes when I couldnt remember a thing? Why the hell do I go see patients on my own to practice when those are all just wasted efforts anyway? Right now? I feel so stupid and helpless and disheartened. I dont know what else is there to do. Osce and exams in a week's time. My preparations aint adequate. I wonder, why do I choose this pathway anyway?