Today, m a toy. A toy with run-down batteries. I was less energetic than usual, God knows why. :S I woke up this morning with dreaded feeling of going to my classes. I felt like a child, sulking, not wanting to step out of the house for school. I shut my eyes, my mind willing that I was sick; a fever, a flu, a chicken pox, whatever.. but unfortunately, I wasnt. With a deep long sigh, I made my way to the hospital.

In the ward, I was a zombie. I spaced out a lot, I couldnt catch what the reg was saying. I couldnt remember who our patients are.. and when one patient waved hello to me, it took me moments to realize that he was this nice kind man that I talked to the other day and decided to use as my case write-up. Oh. What was happening to me.. ?! I dont know.. :S And when my house surgeon asked us to do a neurological exam on a patient, he kept on glancing and asking me so many times whether I followed on what he said. Oh great.... NOT! :S Now, he thinks m dumb. =.=

The things is ... I was tired. My thoughts were muddled. I was physically and mentally drained. I was stumped. I Left the ward early and took an hour lunch break - I didnt do anything in the ward anyway. I was just so out of it, I didnt know why. :S I didnt even use that extra time to talk to my patient for my case - when I really should be working on it. :S

Instead I walked to Medici cafe, sat with some of my colleagues as they ate. Ironically, I felt full and nauseated just watching the food, and I was more than relieved to finally leave the table. And somehow in my haste to leave, I volunteered myself for a presentation this friday. Ugh. And I couldnt even remember exactly how that happened. :S And stupidly enough, I had just agreed to an appointment at the lab this wednesday, at the same time as my tutorial started. Argh! :S



Its already the 4th week of the run.. my 6th week in the hospital. I guess thats why the excitement wears off a little? .. Maybe. :S I hope I will feel much better tomorrow. This zombified being is exhausting too.. and I couldnt afford spacing out so much and making unattainable commitments. Ish. =.=

Oh great. as if the day aint 'awesome' enough (sense my sarcasm there?????) - my flatmates had just dropped me my Maori test results (the one we had back in Marae during the so-called orientation). Hah. =( I didnt do well. But Alhamdulillah I passed. Just passed. I didnt feel like I care anymore how bad my "Maori radar" really is. Sigh. Tena koe?

Argh!!! I didnt feel too fantastic. I just wanted to mengusut, mengusut, and mengusut. Just like what I said to emo_robot the other night, sometimes I just wanted to rant, rant and rant. Ugh ugh ugh. And where is he anyway? Aint he da spiritual counsellor?? right....... Siiiiiiiiiiiggghhhhh. =________=

About the only happy thing today is that...
My baby nephew Danial is now 1 WEEK old. aint that cute? =)
I think m gonna use his picture as my wallpaper now, to cheer myself up a bit.
I bet he wouldnt want an unhappy auntie.. right?